1st Service Message by Pastor Tolu
Gen 2:18-25
MARRIAGE was not orchestrated or ordained by MAN but it was orchestrated by GOD, MARRIAGE is GOD giving you a MAN or WOMAN fitting for your DESTINY. The devil is trying to create a confusion in this institution men marry men, women marry women, human marrying animal.. this was never in the plan of GOD. There’s a difference between MAN and WOMAN, the Lord give the power to procreate by giving the WOMAN a womb Gen1:28.
WHY MUST WE GET it RIGHT or DO IT RIGHT:-
📌 Because it matters to God that we get it right in our choice of a MARRIAGE partner.
📌Because it’s one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make aside following JESUS:- You have to be discerning who you give that opportunity to, you’ll be spending more time In MARRIAGE than your entire Life.
📌It determines how PROGRESSIVE your journey of PURPOSE will be:- Having to pray always for your partner to change instead of focusing on making progress is tiring, Some MARRIED a PRAYER point and not a PRAYER partner.
📌The decision of who you MARRY can determine how you’ll SPEND your ETERNITY:- Some are MARRIED to fire extinguisher, they don’t attend church services again, hardly pray again or have time for the things of God since they got MARRIED.
📌You SHARE the SAME IDENTITY with whoever you’re joined with:- When you MARRY a witch you’ll become a witch, if you MARRY a SPIRITUAL person you become one 1Cor6:16.
HOW TO DO it RIGHT in MARRIAGE (For the MARRIED) :-
📍 STRENGTHEN the CONNECTION between you and SPOUSE:- It’s a daily assignment you have with you SPOUSE, not just sleeping on the same bed or living in the same house but still standing alone, a 3-fold cord isn’t easily broken Ecc 4:12.
➡️You need to be deliberate about bringing GOD into your union daily. Fight to connect together in the realm of the SPIRIT, be intentional about PRAYING together as a COUPLE.
➡️Understand each other’s needs:- Understand their desires, don’t let them be on their own or things in isolation.
➡️ Show interest and care in what they do.
➡️ Rejoice together over victories:- You must work together in challenges and rejoice together when you’re victorious.
📍 LEARN the ACT of COMMUNICATION Ps 147:3, Col4:6 Prov 15:1:- In those moments when you’re about to SPEAK those words that can destroy things pls hold back, don’t be quick to respond Jam1:19.
✅ Be a careful, thoughtful listener.
✅ Be slow to speak 🙊:- You win when you’re able to overpower your flesh, don’t speak things as they come to your head.
✅ Be slow to anger, be patient, reflective and FORGIVING.
📍 RESOLVE CONFLICT QUICKLY:- Know what your SPOUSE likes or dislike and don’t provoke them.
▶️Recognize those things that can easily birth conflict in your marriage.
▶️ Practice saying SORRY quickly.
▶️ Be mindful of your WORDS.
▶️ We MUST NEVER LIFT our hands on our SPOUSES either woman/man, our hands are to nurture and care for our SPOUSE.
▶️ We must NEVER abuse our SPOUSE emotionally or verbally.
▶️ Be careful who we share our conflicts matters with (don’t report to family members let it be a neutral person), whoever it is must be a child of God.
▶️ Never keep conflict to yourself, pls GET HELP, DON’T KEEP QUIET.
▶️ Never go to bed angry with your SPOUSE Eph4:26.
📍 UNDERSTAND the POWER of FORGIVENESS Rom5:5 1Pet5:8:- If God will FORGIVE us we can also forgive our SPOUSE, your eternity with GOD is more important so don’t let a hurt in MARRIAGE that you can FORGIVE deprive you of heaven.
☑️Be aware of the effects unhealed hurt in your MARRIAGE.
☑️Pls allow the SPIRIT of GOD to touch your heart to let go and FORGIVE your SPOUSE.
☑️ UNFORGIVENESS, Bitterness or anger can deprive you of your miracle or BLESSING on the way.
📍 INTIMACY 1Cor7:1-5:- Sexual INTIMACY is part of MARRIAGE, getting married and depriving your spouse of regular sex is SCAM….you should loose your self control with your SPOUSE the moment you got MARRIED. Keep up the spark in your MARRIAGE alive, you must have an emotional deposit with your spouse so that you won’t have a SEXLESS MARRIAGE
📍 LOVE INTENTIONALLY:- Pls read the 5 LOVE languages by Gary Chapman, it’s important to discover how your partner feels APPRECIATED and LOVED. We put in the work for our academics, workplace but we don’t want to put in the work in our MARRIAGE WHY?.
5 LOVE LANGUAGES (Gary Chapman):-
🔘Quality Time
🔘Words of affirmation
🔘Gifts
🔘Act of service
🔘Physical touch.
We need to be careful with our devices taking the time we should spend with our spouses, this was same person you could not wait to TOUCH, spend more TIME with, borrow to even buy GIFTS for, send them LOVE MESSAGES even when you didn’t like writing, So What happened now that you’re married to them?
2st Service Message by Pastor Tolu
GOD doesn’t want us to do life alone, GOD looked at Adam in the garden that he didn’t have anyone like him and find a COMPANION for Adam Gen29:18 God wants us to be excited about MARRIAGE in the midst of what is happening in our time, you must be excited about the man or woman God is bringing your way.
HOW TO GET IT RIGHT (For SINGLES):-
▶️ PRAY about IT:- God helps us to make RIGHT choices when we PRAY about it Rom8:14, you have to be led by GOD before choosing or accepting a partner.
▶️ Be the RIGHT PERSON 1cor13:11:- You must come into MATURITY and put the way of CHILDHOOD behind you. Are you that type of person you’re seeking to MARRY? Are there things you still need to work on on your own, so that you can attract the RIGHT PERSON Eph5:21-25, build a nice character and attitude because you’ll only ATTRACT your kind.
▶️ Don’t be unequally yoked with UNBELIEVERS:- You shouldn’t be married to an UNBELIEVER.
🔘Muslim
🔘 Nominal Christian:- Christians who don’t see anything in wrong doing. Who still drinks, fornicates, involved in gambling etc.
🔘 Christians who have contrasting values/belief system with yours:- Do they believe in Speaking in tongues, move of the spirit, dressing, tithing. This may look small but can be a big issue in MARRIAGE
▶️Be TRUE to YOURSELF:- You need to ask yourself certain important QUESTIONS, don’t ignore those red flags.
➡️ Is there a resistance in your heart towards the person/relationship?
➡️ Is he/she enduring you or you’re enjoying the relationship.
➡️ Are you being forced or pressured to be with him/her? Pressured by social media, friends, family or even church Gen29:16-30. You don’t have to have to consent to a loveless MARRIAGE, wait for your Friend/Wait for Love.
▶️ Make YOUR FINDINGS about him/her Ruth 2:5-11:- Don’t just marry people like that, find out about them. In this our time people lie about anything their past, their true intentions, about their religion, their family, their location, careers, their genotype 📌. PRAY but also ask questions about them around.
▶️ LOVE/ FEELINGS is not enough to be MARRIED to someone:- MARRIAGE requires more than LOVE to sustain it
You need to know define the FEELINGS:-
✅ Is it FICKLE/EROTIC Love?:- This type of Love changes frequently, it has more to do about touching, holding, hugging or even having sex.
✅ Is it Filia/FRIENDSHIP Love? :- Build friendship during courtship, Marry your bestie so that it doesn’t become an issue in your MARRIAGE. No other male/female bestie is permitted except your husband or wife.
✅ Is it Forever Love/AGAPE Love?:- This is committed love, consistent Love, selfless love Eph5, this is the type of Love that sustain the marriage FOREVER. A Consistent, forgiving Love is possible by the help of the HOLY SPIRIT. This type of love is a decision to stay committed to each other FOREVER, you don’t want to be miserable all the days of your life